December 22nd: Learning to Put Myself First

What are some ways we put others before ourselves?

Well for me, it's been eye-opening to start respecting my own boundaries. Sometimes I need help doing whatever project I've been working on, but a lot of the time I felt people would attempt to "help" me in ways I didn't need help.

Let me tell you how liberating it has been to respectfully say that when I do need help, I'm glad to know they'll be available. Then there's times when some little seemingly unrelated task needs to happen in order for everything to come together. So it's been freeing to say "you know I've got this part under control but I really need help to do XYZ while I finish this up. It would really help me."

For someone who never asks for help, it has been a big change in my life. Starting off small has enabled me to see that most of us want to help others but don't always know how. But it also let's me retain my autonomy and not feel like I am being rescued.

I'm learning to accept help in the ways I need it and I'm teaching others to respect the boundary of "I will ask for help when I need it". I'm learning and teaching at the same time.

Do you know how hard it is for a perfectionist to ALLOW others to help them instead of always doing everything herself?? Well then HOW does one get to that point? I almost hesitate to tell you how easy it is. You just have to BE OPEN to it. You don't have to accept help on day 1. You just have to open yourself to imagining what accepting help looks like for you.

When you start looking at your tasks with the idea of being open to accepting help, you'll start to see ways in which others can help you. Maybe they can peel potatoes while you're sautéing onions, instead of you doing both. Maybe that big project at work is taking all your time away from your other duties & you ask someone to cover some of those other tasks for a bit.

Once we open to receiving help, we will start getting that little vision of how others can help us.